it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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