if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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