Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize