Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
