Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
