Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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