There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
