I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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