He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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