Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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