Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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