Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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