Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
