so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think I just sharted jello shots
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