bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
No subtext here. People are naked.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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