Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
