Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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