this boner is exhausting
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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