This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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