you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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