walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
