youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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