Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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