Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
