My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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