I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
