i just had sex bonerless
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
