im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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