He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize