im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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