Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
