New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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