Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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