you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
