my sisters under your porch take her home
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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