just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
