forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
