I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
