You're completely useless in the revolution.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
