the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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