Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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