I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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