We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
