I need help removing her.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
