The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize