the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize