I want to stick my p in your. b.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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