i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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