We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
