11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
