You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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