i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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