i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize