I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
