Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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