Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
