I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
