I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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