he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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