Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
