He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize