I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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