I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
