How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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