Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize