Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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