Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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